I Survived Twenty-Five

The day started off so promising on my 26th birthday. I woke up. Put on a new outfit. Posted some pics to Instagram. Returned phone calls and messages. Went to work. Left work early. Treated myself to some Thai food. Had a one hour Swedish massage. Drove home. Took a nap. Got up from my slumber excited to get ready for dinner. My phone rang. I picked it up. I threw it down. Cried. My grandma died. Tragic. What a way to spend your first day of 26--right ?

With all that going on I barely had time to bask in the day of my birth, let alone that I was a year older. Yesterday, two weeks after my birthday, it hit me that I was 26. I had to say it out loud to remind myself.

Oh ---25 taught me so much. I mean--I am a completely different person . And I kind of like her. She's much more hip.

When I was younger I always imagined that I would be married with my first child by 25. I thought I would be in a flourishing media career, traveling the world, writing big checks and taking Oprah's place. Now some parts of this premonition came true and other parts didn't-- at least not yet. My younger self would be so disappointed. There is not a handbook on what to expect for this pivotal age. No two journey's are the same. However, I can offer this bit of advice--the best way to learn about life is to live it. Here are a few things I learned through my quarter-century living.

1. It’s ok---- to not be ok. Sit in your feelings. Then get up and go.
2. Change---embrace it.
3. Things will go wrong.
4. When people hurt your feelings, you don’t have to hurt theirs back. Pick and choose when to be petty.
5. Embrace now. Live in the moment.
6. Don’t fret or panic over things you can’t control.
7. Listen more than you talk.
8. Nurture your relationships.
9. You won’t be the first or last person to experience disappointment.
10. Be an original. No one likes a carbon copy. 
11. Don’t give up on people too easily.
12. Live in your truth.
13. Be nice. Even when you don’t have to be.
14. You reap what you sow.
15. Trust your gut.
16. Don’t be concerned about what other people think about you.
17. Communication is key.
18. Words. Use them wisely. Speak things into existence.
19. There is beauty in starting over.
20. Being vulnerable is apart of growing up.
21. Keep some things to yourself. Don’t give too much of yourself away.
22. God gave you a vision and dream for a reason. Let Him work. Trust His plan.
23. Don’t get lost in your expectations.
24. Love will come. Don't be too hurt to answer when it knocks.
25. Let “It” go. Whatever "It" is.

Oh and one for the road. Love yourself. People like you for a reason. That means you probably should too. 

Twenty-five was a roller coaster. I wish I had a t-shirt that said, " I survived 25."

Ruby Woo

I have a confession to make. A huge one. I am in love with Ruby Woo. I mean completely devoted, obsessed and smitten. We were introduced one year ago and I often wonder how I have been living without her. When she touches my lips it enhances my entire look. Who knew something short and stout would make such an impact on my life? I literally turn red whenever I think of Ruby. She has Wooed me. 

This matte beauty never leaves my side. She is my go to person whenever I need a pick me up. You can find her in all of my photos. She makes the perfect date. She doesn't say much, but always manages to steal the show. Ruby Woo is definitely in a league all her own. Nothing quite compares to her. With her edge, style and grace she will continue to be my first love. It is very rare that something this beautiful comes into your life and changes the game. Even with change being inevitable she will remain a constant. I will be sure to make sure I hold on to this beauty. 

Winedown Wednesday

Algebra Blessett is definitely a vocalist to watch. Her voice is flawless and underrated. Take a listen to this smooth summer jam. Ladies and gentlemen I present to you "Nobody But You."

Concrete

This morning I drove into work as usual. Came up under the covered parking lot from the drizzling rain. Searched for a good covered parking space. I quickly located two open spots. I looked around and noticed that cars were parked so far down. I wondered to myself, "Why is no one parked here? Seems kind of weird." So I drove into the open spaces. Put my car in park. Turned off my windshield wipers. Pulled out my badge. Got out of my car and closed my door. As I turned around to make sure my door was locked, I quickly looked behind me and there it was. On a concrete column. A message. Maybe it was from God?

The message simply said,"If life is what you make it, create it." 

I know God was talking directly to me. I'd just finished praying about my future. Asking him how can I get to the next level? How can I make all the things he put in me manifest? Asking for stronger faith and a better vision. Praying for ALL the people around me. I gave myself a serious scolding and pep talk about changing my perspective on EVERYTHING. And there it was. Soon as I stopped praying and decided to change my view, God offered me just a bit of advice. From an unexpected place. Create your life. He has already given me all the tools I need. 

We as human beings have allll the tools we need to become who we want to be. We have the eyes to create the vision. The dreams to make those visions come true. The hands to put those visions and dreams into motion. Even with obstacles our duty is to still make it happen. Our lives are literally what WE make them. Life doesn't come with handouts, merely favor, grace and mercy. One must go out and get what one wants. With no excuses. The greatest people in history have all faced challenges and still managed to create the success they wanted. 

Who knew that little piece of graffiti, on a drenched concrete pillar would give me so much inspiration? Would remind me that I am the master of my fate? Would remind me that I have the power (with God) to make all my dreams come true? Would remind me that God has ordered all of my steps, with signs and wonders along the way? Would remind me that the life I have envisioned and dreamed for myself is still within reach, if only I keep reaching? 

Cruise Control

Everything works out just how it is supposed to. Sometimes I like to sit back watch how God works something out. He puts things together so divinely. My faith is so strong in God that I know he will put it together just the way it should. There have been times where I was upset over something that didn't work out as I planned for it to. Then later down the line I saw the bigger picture and was grateful for it falling through. Going with the flow is so much easier than losing sleep at night worrying about something. The universe never disappoints. Patience is a virtue. Close your eyes and let God lead the way. He will definitely take you down the right path. 

R.I.P Don Cornelius

I woke up this morning only to discover Don Cornelius, host, creator and producer of Soul Train, took his life early this morning. He was only 75 years. It truly saddened me. How can a man filled with so much genius and innovation decide to take his own life?There has to be more to the story that's untold. Mr."Soul Train" himself launched the careers of so many great musicians from James Brown to Elton John to Al Sharpton. He gave them a platform to showcase their talent when no one else would.

Don Cornelius, a native of Chicago, IL, started the show in 1970. The first part of his career he started off as a salesman. He switched gears and his interest grew in television after he saw a void for African-Americans to show the world their talents. His career in television started as a writer for a local Chicago station. From there "Soul Train"was born. The famed show was modeled after "American Bandstand" hosted by Dick Clark. The show was only shown locally in Chicago, Atlanta, Houston and Los Angeles. The show quickly became a success and was nationally broadcast in 1971.

The shows 35 year run changed the lives of so many African-Americans and Americans for that matter. Every single Saturday morning people took a ride on the hippest show. If not for the music, definitely for the trendy styles , dance moves and hair. Don Cornelius shifted the way music television was conducted with this iconic show. He pioneered a new approach to reaching audiences of all levels. He changed the brand of musical artists and allowed them into the homes of millions every single week. Its a sad loss to both the television and music community. As the investigation into his death continues many details will be uncovered about the motive behind untimely suicide. Who knew he was so troubled that he wanted to end it all? Nevertheless, he leaves behind a deeply legacy. It will touch many generations after him. May he rest in love, peace and soul.

Resurgence of Empowering Self

The year two thousand and twelve is the year for African-Americans to empower themselves and be the great people they were born to be. I don't there is a better time to be black. Not just because the President of the United States is black, but because we are doing things our own way. From music, dance, literature, art and medicine we are making a new mark on the world. The African race has come a long way. From chains we now wear crowns. Although we still have a ways to go our progress is noted. For example , black women are starting to embrace their beauty much more. I think that the natural hair movement is much more than women not wanting to put chemicals on their tresses. It signifies that black women no longer want to fit into a box that the media has created. Black women want more freedom. They are finally defining beauty by themselves for themselves.

I am HUGE fan of Tumblr. Thanks to my younger sister I stumbled upon Black Fashion. This page inspires me everyday. Nothing brings me more joy than seeing young black people using style as a language. Expressing their individuality, personality and finesse. The fact that things from two decades ago is making a cameo appearance in modern times is awesome. Black Fashion showcases the style of people of every hue, size, shape and gender. Its quite inspiring. The road map to knowing who you are first starts with being co

mfortable with who you are.

I look at my social community and everyone is following their dreams. They are stepping out on faith and making things happen. So many people in my age range are becoming entrepreneurs , starting beauty and clothing lines, authoring books, becoming philosophers and scholars. The year two thousand and twelve is the year for African-Americans to empower themselves and be the great people they were born to be.

HAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH

Mo'Style: Faux-y Lady

I am obsessed with faux fur vests. They are really rocking my world lately.

There is just something about them. I have found creative ways to wear them whether with a denim shirt and spandex skirt or over my favorite hoodie. These little furry things can take an outfit to the next level in less than 10 seconds. Try

it out and see how far this accessory can take you. If you pair it with a belt, necklace or your favorite lipstick you are guaranteed to be CHIC!

Vest& Denim

Vest & All Black

Different Types Of Vests

Allow me to reintroduce myself

Sooo....it has been a while?

I feel like I go through this every year.

I start the year off strong writing on my blog. I get motivated and devote all of my time to this. Then somewhere off into the distance I get distracted. I lose sight. I get bored. Life happens. I have writers block. I have every reason under the sun why I disconnect.

I have decided to redirect my focus of this blog.

Now that I live in NYC . There are so many great things around me....art, music and food.

I am going to start chronicling things I see in the city. My thoughts and experiences.

I hope that this will keep me attached to OneMoMinute.

I am determined to stay devoted to my craft and this might be it.

So lets start this journey AGAIN!

No Dress Rehearsal

Life is not a movie. There is no dress rehearsal. You only have one time to get it right. The cast might change , but the story will remain the same. No matter how hard one tries , they don't have control over the script. With every decision that you make there is a consequence. You can't go around with a magnifying glass burning ants and not expect them to die. Sometimes I think that people confuse movies with real life , myself included. Everything isn't meant to have a happy ending. Many stories have to end for beautiful beginnings. Its a hard adjustment. However, the beauty of life is that if goes on. While I was at work I ran across this quote ," Man's ultimate destiny depends not on whether he can learn new lessons or make new discoveries and conquests , but on the acceptance of the lesson taught." That's so powerful. In life we learn different things for a reason. To teach us something not only about life in general , but most importantly about ourselves. Some lessons are harder to learn than others , nevertheless essential. I'm so grateful for all these lessons. No matter how much they made me cry, smile , sad, or mad. I learned that I'm one of the strongest people I know. I have become numb to negative situations and always seem to come out unscathed. Along with lessons are decisions. When you consciously make a decision to do something. That means you have consciously decided to take on the repercussions. ( Good or bad). Experience is the best teacher.
Being on both sides of hurt .There are just somethings life teaches you shouldn't do . Talk about gratefulness? I'm beyond it.

Concealed

Even with my flawless cocoa skin , I have a strange obssession with make-up. Whether I'm concealing , filling , blushing or lipsticking. It all intrigues me. Under the eyes. Highlighting cheekbones. Hiding blemishes. Concealer is here to stay. It was created to hide blemishes and give that extra finishing look .The smallest amount of concealer can change a women's entire look. Going from a bag lady to a powder puff princess. In some cases women are only wearing a dollop of concealer with a touch of gloss for a complete light coverage look. Its really working. Adding some powder , eye liner and blush really sets it off . If you look closely at photos of Kim K, Beyonce, Jennifer Hudson , Oprah and J to the Lo , their faces are concealed to perfection.
BEFORE

AFTER

Check Out My Documentary!

After Blood,Sweat and Tears! My documentary is finally done. It's about African-American women who date outside of their race. I hope you enjoy it . Feel free to leave comments and feedback!

Skin Deep:Black Women Venturing Out
Executive Producers: Monique Mitchell and Marsha Buchanan

Seasons of Change

So I was sitting in church Sunday and I had this revelation . An epiphany.Like the 4 seasons . They come and go. There is a sign that they are either coming or going. Each one has specific characteristics. For winter its snow and for summer its heat. Just like the earth , life has seasons too .In life our seasons have signs too. It's just that some choose to recognize them and others ignore the signs . The hardest thing one can do is force yourself to leave one season and enter another. Upon graduating from college I have found myself struggling to leave college right where its at . Its so hard to leave something familiar for the unknown. However, I have acknowledged that my time is up. That its time to move onto the next season in my life and harvest the great things that are in store for me. Why linger in a season of things that are old...and prepare for a season with things that are fresh and new. Another side of seasons I thought about was relationships. Ever wandered why a friendship/relationship didn't manifest like you wanted it to? Maybe its because you two are in different seasons of your life. Once, I really sat down and thought about this. My entire perception changed. People are like fruits and vegetables . If you try and pick the fruits and vegetables prematurely. It will be deformed. It wont taste right. It will be discolored. It simply wasn't ready for harvest. On the other hand, if you allow that fruit or vegetable to ripen. You will reap a good harvest. It will not only be plentiful . But will have a rich flavor. Nothing in life should be forced if its not in the right season. Some relationships and acquaintances need to be released in order for you to reap the full benefits. Let it go...so it can GROW. Seasons are symbolic in so many areas. Some seasons are good and some are bad. Some seasons have famine and some have harvest. Some seasons cause pain and some cause happiness. Some seasons add relationships and some seasons subtract them. As soon as you begin to recognize what season you are in, your life you will get a clear vision of where you are. Don't involve yourself in relationships and ventures that are out of season. You always be disappointed. In the mist of changing seasons. Patience is a virtue.

Maya Angelou visited my Alma Mater today. Since I couldnt be in attendance. I will dedicate this post to her . ENJOY!

Love All Over Me

My day was going fine. I was cleaning up the house. I turned on the television . Watched VH1 Soul . And to my surprise it was the Monica Soul Story. They played her old school jams and it got me reminiscing . I was jamming. Then "Love All Over Me" came on and it changed my whole day. This is one of my favorite songs by her . I think it truly captures the feeling of what love should be. You can hear it in her voice. As I watched,I remembered that , Shannon Brown , the lead guy in the video is now her real life husband. Just last year this time she broke up with her boyfriend and the father of her children Rocko. I have been thinking about this scenario all day. The guy who pretended to be her husband...is NOW REALLY her husband. How awesome it that? This taught me a few things. Be careful what you do or say cause it can turn into reality. The second lesson is that break ups are meant to elevate you to a hook up. All that time she spent with someone who didn't really value who she was. According to blogs, he was always guilty of infidelity .She finally decided to let that go and found someone who adores her. I figured if GOD could do that for her ...I know he can do that for me. Sometimes in relationships both men and women , we hold on to whatever we can. We will settle for whatever we can get. Just to have that person in out lives ...afraid to lose them . When sometimes its better to admit its not meant to be. I have had to make a decision. Do I want to be with someone who I have to force to fit or someone tailor made for me? The time I spend pulling teeth and begging ..I could use with someone who wants to shower me with a new beginning. From the ugliest heartache can come a beautiful surprise. Monica sparked something in me today. She gave me hope and renewed my faith in relationships and love. It also reminded that what GOD has for me is for me. Relationships were designed to teach a lesson ..to propel you to the next person your supposed to be with . Love is a journey with bumps and glitches along the way ..but once you reach the final destination one will find it was all worth it in the end. The moral of today's story is that love can find you and it can be beautiful. At least I hope so.

Expiration Date

"When people show you who they are. BELIEVE them the first time"-Maya Angelou .

As 2010 ended , I found myself trying to see the good in people around me.Attempting to look past all their imperfections and shortcomings in their relationship with me . Giving them a second chance. Hoping for the best because I wanted to to. But to no surprise , nothing changed. GOD uses people in our lives to show us a few things. That their season has expired or its time for you to move on. There is no sense in holding on to friendships, associations, or relationships that has no purpose. I guess in the end when you have wiped your hands clean of a failed relationship. You can at least say you tried..right ? But to what emotional expense? I love the saying , " When you know better , you do better" . If someone in your life has a pattern of being inconsistent , insensitive, indecisive, untruthful , conniving, malicious, or hurtful. Thank them. Now you know which course of action to take ..... your expectations won't be so high. As 2011, takes off , I will take all those lessons of having high expectations of people. And use them as a stepping stone to growth and knowledge. People take the lead from you. They treat you how you allow them to.

Stress Factors

For the past few weeks all the things I have been stressing over, have been coming right together. Ill stay up all night for a test. Worried losing sleep. When I walk into class the test is cancelled. My agenda is filled and I can't detect whether I'm coming or going ...and then out the blue the events get cancelled. At that point ..its a sigh of relief . I'm starting to really understand the saying that what GOD has for me is for me. I learned over the weekend from a mentor these simple things. Why are you stressed and worried over things that GOD has already designed. Why do you think that you can dictate and plan your life out just the way you want it to;When you didn't even have control your own birth ? That stuck out for me . How can I be so preoccupied with the unknown. Its UNKNOWN for a reason, and there is no need in losing valuable sleep over it . What good is a movie or book when you already know the ending?Gotta stay tuned or keep reading to get to the end.

Stripped

All good things must come to an end. The question is whether or not you are brave enough to let it go? But, just because they come to an end doesn't mean they wont come back around. Life is all about seasons. Drought , famine , overflow and abundance are all apart of life . I sat in church on Sunday and the pastor delivered an awesome message about hope. Hope goes a little bit further than faith . Faith is the substance of the things hoped for . But , hope is an attitude. Hope is even when your in the mist of going through, you still believe that things will get better. Hope is letting go and knowing that whatever you think you lost GOD will replace with something bigger and better.

In my two decades of living , I have learned that as soon as you let go ... GOD will bless you. There is no need holding on to something that is dead . It's like this ...would you rather hold on to something that you want ...or hold on to something that GOD has planned for your life? It takes GOD snatching you from your comfort zone and stripping you of affiliations and relationships to elevate you to where you need to be. Imagine being on an island all by yourself. A small piece of land, surrounded by water on all sides. Just you. Stripped of everything. No car. No clothes . No computers. No music. No people. Free of distractions. You would be forced to survive. Forced to make things work. Forced to make do. Forced to find new ways to live.Forced to let GOD guide you. At some point in our lives GOD will put us on our own personal islands, in a world of chaos and reality. He does this to transform us into our better selves. Distractions deter us from where we need to be, and the sooner you let those things go ..the possibilities are endless.

Love Hunt

Every little girl dreams of the knight in shining armour that will come rescue them. With a gold plated chest, dreamy eyes and hair blowing in the wind. Just like something out of a movie. He will come riding in with gifts and love . From there live in a mystical castle living happily ever after .That's until you wake up ..realize its a dream and come back to reality. For the last few weeks I have been trying to decipher why I have this infatuation with love?

According to the dictionary, love is defined as a strong regard or emotion for someone. Ultimately , I believe love is such a strong emotion it defies definition. Its relevant to whomever is in it. If I had to design love , I would craft it to be everlasting, unconditional and unbreakable. It would be constructed to bring out the best in individuals , helpful and forgiving. The special features would include an unspoken language and so strong bribery is not included.

Whenever love comes up in a room of soon-to-be successful young impressionable women...we all say the same things about ourselves. We have obtainable goals set, beauty and brains, speak eloquently , can hold an intelligent conversation..blah blah blah the list goes on . We have yet to FIND someone who can appreciate all the things we have to offer. As I start to get older I realize that's the problem . WE shouldn't be looking for anything. We should be found. Such a hard concept to understand...I'm 22 and I'm just starting to put the pieces of the puzzle together. I want to be right where I need to be , so when he finds me ...he wont have to look any further.

Love is something you don't go searching for. When you forget about it and just live life .It finds you when you least expect it to. There are negative images of love and commitment theses days. With Tiger Woods and his infidelity. can't forget the Chris Brown/Rhianna ..Drunk PUNCH kinda love. But then there are also positive ones like the popular Barack and Michelle Obama and Will Smith and Jada. They are like the saviors for Black love. Even with the ugliness that love sometimes brings , I still see the beauty in it .The ability to love is a gift. One that I'm not willing to give to just anyone. Sometimes spending time loving the wrong people, carrying baggage and not letting go of the past is a hindrance to give love a chance. Love can be a gift and a curse. Spreading it all over the place isn't wise. But I can say, I wont go looking for it in the trees, small crevices and corners , or dark alleys. I'm going to let it find me...instead of going on a love scavenger hunt.

PRETTY People Do The UGLIEST Things

It's so funny sometimes how relationships that you once had ...soon fade to black . How someone you love ..hurts you the most . I have come to the conclusion that jealousy and envy bring out the worst in people. No matter how talented , beautiful, humble or well off they are . Sometimes a person must step outside of themselves ..to see how UGLY they truly are. It's like life has a sense of humor. How can the one thing that is supposed to bring individuals together ...snatch them apart? Witnessing the love that you once had for people turn to hate ...is such a hurtful process to endure. NEVER allow anyone to get the best of you.

I found this awesome Chinese proverb it simply states, " He who seeks vengeance must dig two graves: One for his enemy and one for himself." It means that when you take the time to hurt others who have hurt you...you only end up hurting yourself. One of the most hypocritical things one can do is become a reflection of the people they despise so much. Never taking into account their recent transformation. Turning the other cheek is easier said than done but, its the healthiest route. The amount of time your using to lose sleep , you can be planting into something else like purpose. Enemies can only do to you...what you allow. My father always told me ...don't allow people to rent space in your head ...with YOUR permission. Be the bigger person. Move on. Let it go. Fighting fire with fire only causes a larger flame...so let it die out slowly. God will use your enemies as your foot stool to elevate you to higher heights. You should never have a hand in someone's downfall or seek revenge. No one can take care of your enemies better than GOD.

These simple sayings are so profound. Treat others the way you want to be treated and what goes around comes around. Don't do to others what people has been done to you. Be reassured that GOD will take care of those who cast evil against. The sooner these lessons are learned the better off you shall be.